Weekend

It's Palm Sunday. Usually a happy time.

Still missing him. Met most of his family- they're great! I fit in well with them, of course. These last several days helping them clean out his apartment and put stuff in storage has been hard. Emotionally tiring. He would have wanted us to stay positive and up-beat. It's more difficult when the person who rallied up your spirits is the one who you're mourning and missing so hard. I am so very thankful he isn't in a coma or on life support, he would not have wanted that.

New Normal

Been a long time. Seems like I return when there's a transition. Right now I just need to ramble and this could be a good place for that.

I just feel a bit lost. The man I've been dating for the last several months just died suddenly and it's left me feeling so empty. I can't speculate that we would have worked out for a nice happily ever after but so far we've been happy and nothing, just nothing, about him didn't work for me. And this new normal we have to face during pandemic makes this so much harder. I'm left feeling helpless, as are so many these days. So lonely. I know life will get better. Logically, through faith and my normal optimism, I'll be okay. This all just sucks so bad. Feels like this could kill me. It won't. But not healed enough yet to sincerely smile.