27 February 2006

Manic Monday Ranting

I should be studying but this is way more fun thus I'm made a deal with myself that as long as I can keep typing without having to stop to think of a new topic I can keep writing this post!
Work yesterday was long but uneventful and thus not really that hard. It was a good day.
Just like today is a good day. Possibly a great day! Wouldn't that be wonderful? To wake up every morning and remember, the very first thought in your head, that today could be the greatest day ever? I think I'd give up that part of my brain that remembers stupid song lyrics to have that thought the first thing every morning. Especially since my first thoughts seem to be about some stupid dream I just woke up from that doesn't make a lick of sense. (I just love that term, lick of sense... so quaint.)
I like headbands. I think I generally look bad in them but I like them on other people. The girl across from me here in the library is wearing a particularly pretty one with lots of pink swirly things on it. Ah, to have headband worthy hair. I guess I would if I cut mine shorter...
Mum is back! Can you tell, since I've mentioned it in more than one post, that this news makes me really happy. It doesn't hurt that she's promised me a box of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies when I go home (though Daddy bought them thinking Mum likes them. She doesn't. I do!!!!!)

Oh and speaking of the family... Dork might be adding to the long line of us who have served as Key Club President... Dork seems to be apparently the only one qualified to run for the position. It really doesn't help that they have the same "teacher" advisor as was there when I was Pres. I honestly did not like the woman and my love for her has not grown an ounce. I sure hope Dork makes it through without maiming her (or telling me anything she's done and making me want to maim her myself.) It's really sad to me when a really great group with the best intentions is cut short and underutilized because of a lack of enthusiasm and knowledge in its leadership. That's the best I can say without starting in on specifics and using explicatives. Lots of them. Grrrrrrr.... This is one of those cases where I gave someone a chance even after my first impression of him/her was terrible and that chance just proved me right in my first judgement. I hate it when that happens because I honestly believe in the goodness of people. It's hard to keep trying and giving second chances when those sort of people prove me wrong...

Enough about that. Now I've run out of legitimate topics and will have to end this post...
Happy Monday and a merry, jolly week to all of you!!!!

25 February 2006

Yay for interviews!

I think the interview this morning went really, very well. I stayed coherent long enough to get through the important stuff and I think my interviewers liked me. And, of course, I looked good. Weird fact that they tossed us; there were 70% women and 30% men applying to the program this year. (450 applicants and around 200 of those get interviews.) Does that seem like an abnormally strange ratio to anyone else? I think last year it was closer to 50/50 or at least 55/45, something like that. My hopes are up though my worries about course load have multipled exponentially.
It was nice to hear that it's really not at all competitive once you're in. They really work hard to help each other and make sure everyone makes it through. That's one thing that made me feel a little alienated here on the regular campus, everyone is so competitive and trying to put each other down to get ahead (though, of course, there are exceptions and those who've helped me so much that it would be rude to generalize them out of the thanks they more than deserve.) So anyway, YAY about today's interview!!!
That's really all that's on my mind right now other than the talk I need to have with one of my roommates (and no, it's not Julia). I hate it sometimes that I get so upset about something and yet she's not here to go through it with when I want to talk about it so I end up cooling off and not saying anything when she really deserves exactly everything I think of originally when I get pissed. This time, though, we are doing some talking. Not in front of her friends and, most likely, not in front of the other roommates. Hopefully she'll realize I am trying to show her some respect and that I'd appreciate a little in return but here's to low expectations and being the bad guy (er, gal).
Anyhooo.... Happy Weekend to everyone! Mum made it back safely! YAY!

22 February 2006


Thought this looked neat. That is all.

Beautiful Weather

I am LOVING the current weather. Cool and misty, always a favorite of mine.
Attempted a medium in wall climbing this morning and couldn't make it more than a couple of feet off the ground on the route. And this time I really can blame it on height because I just can't reach the darn handhold that I NEED to get any further. I'll try it again Monday and see if I can find another way to do it that actually works. There's always a way, I'm just too inexperienced to see it sometimes.
Slow day yesterday. Good day but slow. It's funny how different it was from how today will be... no classes vs. four classes and a lab... sleeping in until around nine vs. waking up at 7:30 and still running a little late... working out to a pilates video vs. climbing a freakin' wall until I'm sore... doing laundry vs. planning out homework (though actually I did some of that yesterday too). Good to have variety to spice up life, huh?
I think the pasta stuff Julia and I made Sunday night is making me sick. Of course we had leftovers and I enjoy leftovers, usually, but this time they haven't been kind to me. Which is sad because the stuff we made is delicious even reheated. Oh well... grin and bear it and eat like a hoss.
Any traveling prayers for my mum and Mike, respectively, would be appreciated. I miss my mum... I know I'm here at college and only see her every couple of weeks or so but knowing that I can't just drive an hour and see her right now if I want to makes me miss her more. Love you Mum!
Happy Wednesday to everyone!!!

20 February 2006

Slushy Monday

They have pink salt!!! For the sidewalks!!!! Isn't that weird???
Oh and a tour group just went by in the library. It's funny how obvious it is that they're a tour group not just a bunch of lost people huddled together. But I take it as my sworn duty to make fun of them silently to make up for all the times they woke me up early during a nap by the Great Reading Room last semester. Ahhah! I WILL have revenge on those little curious ragamuffins!
Oh and just because I'm in such a great mood, I have to send a warm thought of thanks to my roommate Jenna. She's so sweet and thoughtful. And she moved her vehicle last night after she got back home so I could leave for class this morning without incident! SHE IS TO BE ADORED!!! Also, she brings us candy. And she keeps Steve around to make us laugh. But mostly she's just awesome!!!!
Julia, you'd have a paragraph just like that but you make fun of me enough so you've basically become on the same level as Dawn and family... thus, well, I'll just be nice to you in person, okay? I think we should have another movie night soon...
Climbing went well this morning. It was so hard to not laugh when one of the boys, I won't name names, tried to go too fast and slipped, which ended in him hitting the wall more than once and flying around like a cat on a leash. SO FUNNY. But I was his belayer so I had to act like it wasn't funny and that I was, seriously, concerned about his well-being. Which, I mean, I don't want him to get hurt badly but a few scratches and a bruised ego won't do him much harm and since I was belaying I knew he was safe from falling badly. So inner chuckles. Yay!
Wish I could think of more to say. Hope everyone is driving safely and staying warm in this yucky weather. Happy Slushy Monday ya'll!!!

19 February 2006

Yay at last

I've got an invite to interview this next Saturday for OU Pharm college. Good to know they're not ignoring me for the moment. Now I'm starting to get worried about getting in. Before there was a sense of apathy mixed with misgivings about field choice but now it's just anxiety. Almost wish I was furious about something or resentful even so I'd still be able to talk fluently; I fear by Friday I'll be a mass of jiggling (and giggling) mush... yay.
Scanned in dozens of pictures this weekend from HS and freshman year before I got my digital camera. Remembered lots of funny things. Good times.

16 February 2006

A Better Thursday

I was walking on campus this morning and the thought occurred to me that I wish you could send a "nudge" (like on MSN messenger. It's to say, hey! look at me!) to people walking semi-nearby that you know. It would be fun. Really fun. Beepers maybe? Would that work???
There was a Benno (Benjamin) Furmann look-alike on the bus on the way home. And I surely didn't mind.
Ya know how in class or at work there are people you continually see on a regular basis that have their own little quirks? Do you ever give them nicknames so your friends and you can discuss their eccentric habits?? Well, this morning I saw little Miss "I've got to piss like a f&*^ing racehorse" from physics last year. Is it bad that's the only thing I know or think about when I see her? There are others, usually more flattering or having to do with looks at least... "Rugged Boy" from freshman year who looked amazingly like the Brawny Man... "Plant Girl" from freshman understanding theatre class who wore bits of leaves in her hair a couple of days (I'm talking about it was for sure on purpose because they were "arranged" in some manner)... To go with Plant Girl was "Plant Girl's Boyfriend," the villiage idiot who asked the most boring questions ever but was very jovial about it as he sat next to her and laughed at his own wit... "Mittman" (now better known as Morgan) so named because the first time we met was in the dorm laundryroom where he complained about how hot the clothes come out of the dryer thus creating a need for oven mitts on laundry day... "What's His Name" from freshman year, my then-roommates ex who called much too often... The list could go on forever, especially if you start including the little devices you use to remember people's names, like "President Sean" who once gave a convincing imitation of the President. Anyway, seeing her just made me laugh.
Just heard Audio Adrenaline's Undefeated... Really likin' it...
“All we need is honesty, a little humility, and trust.”-Bob Dylan

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte

15 February 2006

General bluh

This is my 301st post. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still blogging. I don't have any ideas to rock the world's foundations or any revelations that will save lives or souls. I'm just talking about myself like a good narcissist would. What does that say about how I am? I almost started into some self-depreciating but that's just uncalled for...
Wrists hurt. This is a constant for Mondays and Wednesdays. You'd think I'd quit whining. I wish they'd put up some new easy routes on the wall since they took out 2 of them over the past two weeks. For those of us who shy away from bouldering just yet there are only about 5 easy routes and most of us aren't good enough to tackle medium routes yet. For me, it's mostly about upperbody strength. I can push up with my feet all day but it doesn't keep my arms from getting worn out and sore before I reach the top. And it's not my upperarms that ache either, it's the hands and wrists for which I knew few, if any, exercises that really work to help. Guess it just takes time and patience.
Patience isn't really one of my virtues. Or at least unbiased patience isn't. Some things set me off like a spark while others don't even register on my radar. Strange how that works.
I managed to wake up on time this morning, stay on schedule getting ready until it came to getting dressed then I got behind and forgot my phone as I rushed out the door. I hate it when I forget my phone. I know I used to live without one but nowadays I feel lost if I don't have it. Meh...
Just ran into another pre-pharm from ER... He's a year younger so this is his first year applying to pharm college and he's still really anxious about getting an interview, etc. Says he thinks about it all the time; in class, working on homework, before sleep, etc... Makes me laugh because now I'm not even thinking about it. If he hadn't mentioned it I wouldn't have remembered that interview invitations are going out now and I still haven't gotten one. I'm sort of past the point of caring. Seems like I've been stuck here so long I'm just going to have to take 5 years and get some sort of degree I don't even care about just to justify my waste of time working on getting into pharm school. Should have just been an elementary education major and joined a sorority. At least then I might not be so apathetic about it all. And I'd probably already have my degree finished. At the end of this semester I'll have about a hundred and six hours I think. Woop-ti-do. That's from taking only about 14-15 hours a semester w/o extra classes in winter or summer... just imagine where I'd be if I was shooting for 17-18 plus summer classes and intersession. I'd be done. If money wasn't an issue I could try college and cullinary school at the same time. Or maybe beautician school. Hey, I already know some of the chemistry they use for their torture processes.
Obviously I need to suck it up and quit gripping. Sorry. Hope ya'll have a great day! It's Wednesday!!!!!

14 February 2006

V-day ramble

Happy Valentine's Day ya'll!!! Hope yours is wonderful; full of fun and laughter!
Work Sunday and classes Monday all went well. Wall Climbing is very slowly, painfully strengthening my wrists. By the end of the semester I'll either break them or be the strongest wristed gal in the area. Either way quite an accomplishment.
Last night I finished the experiment requirement for psych class. It seemed to go on forever... so boring but since it's done I don't have to worry about it later in the semester. Yay!
Currently playing "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles. It's rocking my world.
I've been reading a really good book lately (Socrates Cafe by Christopher Phillips) and it's really brought up a lot of questions. [Let me back up for a minute. The entire book is mostly about asking questions in a group setting and hashing them out, not to find an answer but simply for the sake of asking questions in the first place. One of those things where what you answer isn't as important as what question you asked in the first place. It's really very thought provoking, of course.] One of the most interesting thus far for me has been what "What is home?" In their discussion they talk about where they were born, where the heart is, where they sleep, etc. But do those really answer the question for everyone? To me, home is that ideal nostlogic place that I called home as a kid. Where my jungle gym was built, where I helped in the gardens each season, and learned to ride a bike. The house itself is still there but it has changed so much that I hardly recognize it. Our once beautiful gardens are now pathetic and it's just generally gone downhill. But that's still home to me. Of course, I call the house my parents live in now home but it isn't the place that is quintissentially home to me. "You can't go home again." This is a dreadfully sad thought to me. Even if it's sometimes true to say it so bluntly is saddening.
Since I'm still at just the beginning I can't say how the rest of the book is going to be but thus far it's quite entertaining. Not funny exactly but worth a read. I miss having a ton of free time to read. It's a great day that I manage to squeeze some (nontext)book time in. Woohoo!
Sometimes watching others go through major life problems/milestones is difficult. How do you know just what to say or how to react? It's blatantly cruel to just say flippantly, "Yeah, sure you're hurting right now but you're not the first or last to go through this so just get over it." Moving on in life is usually hard and often scary but we all have to face it at some point. The optimist in me says that things typically get better even if we don't think that's at all possible at the time. But how to help others cope with change, especially change they didn't want in the first place??
What a strange note to end on. Oh well. Happy Valentine's Day!

* Le coeur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connait point.* ("the heart has its reasons of which it does not know of")

"I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them." ~Mae West

"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."-Anonymous

12 February 2006

Long rambling thought - pouring out some nonsense

One problem with being so self-sufficient and image-oriented is that it's often hard to open up and admit real deep things about oneself to the world. One of my friends just recently did something like that and I have to mention it on here in praise and jealousy because that takes such... something I can't even think of a good enough word for it since moxie and cahones don't really fit. To be that sure of yourself and what you're feeling that you can tell the world, even if it's just a couple of close friends... Wow. I understand how vague and silly this must sound to anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about but I had to say something. Even if what you're feeling is minor to the rest of the world, it's personal for you and to open your very heart to the harsh eyes of the world is frightening beyond comprehension.
Sorry if that was way out there for ya'll.

I'm in one of those strange moods where my mind is really over thinking life (mine in particular) and the consequences of our actions. In so many ways I'm sure of myself and my actions, both ethically and morally. But there are even more facets of my life that I'm scared to death aren't right and, worse, aren't fixable. This is one of those thoughts that is self-defeating but it's there none-the-less. It's so hard to lead a good life, one without regrets of any sort and perfectly content to be average/mediocre. Anyone who tells you differently must have received the handbook on life that I didn't get. Because this crap is tough. A few posts back I mentioned wanting to be a little kid again. Well, another point comes to mind along that line: When you're a little kid you don't realize how big the world is or how small the world is. It isn't there to mess with your mind when you can't sleep one night or when you're faced with life decisions that could really impact your life thereafter. I think that's what growing up is really. Learning to face this "problem" which, I suppose, isn't so much a problem but rather an extension of the questions, "Who am I?" and "Why am I?"
So I'm going to head off to bed and think more on this... Love and HIS blessings.

"Treasure your exceptions! Keep them always uncovered and in sight. Exceptions are like the rough brickwork of a growing building which tells that there is more to come and shows where the next construction is to be." -William Bateson

"We believe in ourselves, as we do not believe in others. We permit all things to ourselves, and that which we call sin in others, is experiment for us." -Emerson

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford

10 February 2006


Wish me mucho luck on my genetics test... ("I'm going to sing the doom song now....") Love to all and HAPPY WEEKEND YO!!!!!!!

09 February 2006

Dream, nostalgia, and technology

Woke up this morning so confused.
I'd just been having a really strange dream; I was somewhere with 2 guys I knew in HS (we were pretty close friends but nothing else) and one of them, Case, was trying to convince me to go on a (pity) date with the other guy (who really didn't talk that much which would be strange for him in real life) even though I kept protesting that I already had a boyfriend. He just continued pushing it... I woke up before I answered but it really freaked me out because Case looked completely different than he does in real life. He looked like I think he should in real life but doesn't, if that makes any sense.
(You know, when you know someone well enough that ya sort of forget what they look like in general and start to "see" the person you know inside them so that when someone comments on that friend's appearance you don't really know what they're talking about until you really think about it since you don't see that side/part of them. For me this seems to go away after a couple of years or so since, apparently, I can see Case as he really does look now.)
Anyway, I woke up confused because of that but also because of the feeling of nostalgia for that time in my life that we were still close friends. Even though I wouldn't want life to still be like that point in my life I missed it SO much right then. (I'll admit how cheesy I am since my eyes even got a little misty thinking about it)
Moving on to other thoughts...
In psych class (where there are, at last count, at least four village idiots plotting to take over the world with their newfound knowledge) a couple of weeks back we discussed how some of the people in older generations right now are "scared" of technology and avoid it, whereas my generation and the other younger ones seek it out and revel in it. It makes me wonder if this love of technology (of the sort that's newest now) will always be something my generation embraces since we've been so influenced by it from infancy. I don't actually remember not having at least 2 computers in our house, ever. I know that might not be totally normal and you probably think I'm just being short-sighted but it's true. I was playing on the computer as soon as I was old enough to be able to read. But I digress. Will my generation always love the new or will we get so overwhelmed by it that we turn into neohippies and reject all this superfluous materialistic crap? It's really something that I've been turning over in my head for a while now and I still haven't reached any sort of conclusion or pivotal thought.
Hmmm I think that's all I'm spilling right now... Happy Thursday!

06 February 2006

The true geek inside

Wall climbing this morning kicked my butt. Or rather my hands since they're what's ailing me right now. Ouch!
Watched an episode of a dumb reality show called "Beauty and the Geek" last night at work. The girls had to put together a computer station, download one song, burn it to a cd and play it. The first to do it all won. How hard is that? They had a whole day to study manuals for how to do it. Besides, who can't at least plug in stuff??? Anyway, the guy's challenge was to decorate a room. Now, I guess I'm more geek than beauty because that seems like a harder challenge to me. They had to design it for a girl. My thought is that it's harder to design for someone else than it is to download a song, any song, and play it. But whatever. It was a pretty lame show and I'm surprised it's in at least its second season. So you can see what a stimulating experience work was yesterday...
Went home for the afternoon Saturday for my cousin's birthday party. Was a pretty good time. Wish I'd had more time to talk to my nuclear family but can't always have what I wish for, right? Besides, when we go visit out in Arkansas soon we'll have at least 3 hours in the car both ways to gab. (It makes me smile to call my family nuclear. I know that's the correct term but its other meaning makes it funnier)
Well, genetics class awaits... Happy Monday! Hope ya'll have a great week!

Had a neat thought: Fishing out my keys... I have to hook them with the tip of my finger into my keyring, while pulling they sometimes get caught and I have to fight the forces of nature, ie the demons in my bag that like to hold keys. When I finally get them out I feel so darn accomplished, like I really did something awesome. But it was just getting my keys out of my bag. Doesn't really even diminish my enjoyment that this happens EVERYDAY. Nope. I still think it's rad.

02 February 2006

I don't want to grow up

I wish I was a little kid again. Back when things were simple and the world seemed completely new. Before I made to-do lists. When I would dance silly with my grandmum to old country music. Eating whatever I thought I could get away with, like cake for breakfast, not because I was able to but to see how far I could push it into "special" day territory. Back when I could read a book and really, truly love it and get that excited shivery feeling when the plot turned out just how I knew it should. When boys were still interesting in the way bugs were, not for romantic purposes but purely curiosity. When mistakes didn't ruin your life, just your favorite light-up sneakers. Being excited about Christmas because Santa still existed. Same for Easter. When my birthday was my favorite day of the year because it was entirely about me. Back when I could get away with being brutally honest and no one really got mad because I was supposed to be too young to know better, though I usually did know better. The clothes I wore didn't have to match or even make some sort of sense for people to still talk to me in public. Green polka-dotted shirt with pink ruffly shorts went with red ropers and a princess tiara. My favorite restaurant was still my dad's place. I could count on at least one of our dachshunds to keep me company in time-out at the end of the hall. If I fell asleep during time-out I didn't hold a grudge or probably even notice. Homework was easy and done with Mum or Daddy's help while they cooked dinner. Wearing my ballet class tutu around the house all day was accepted as perfectly normal. Playing in the rain and snow all the time. Playing the adding game Daddy programmed just for me on the old Apple, complete with "duhdidduh-didduh-didduh" and "dinkboing" sounds for right or wrong answers. (I miss affirmation like that in my schoolwork these days.)
Yeah. Being grown up is just SO great. Happy Thursday!

01 February 2006

Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim...

Julia and I made cupcakes last evening. They're delicious. I just had one so I think I'm a qualified critic.
Wall climbing went well this morning other than our instructor being late, so Henry and I just sat there talking for a while. Since he's 2 years older there are people he talks about from home that I don't know but generally it isn't stuff they would probably want me knowing even if I did know them so I just count it as a blessing when I can't connect a face with the name.
"We can be heros, just for one day"
I just remembered... There was a guy in a bee suit trying to catch squirrels in a butterfly net on campus last Wednesday before my evening class. He went full out with the costume, head to toe and he got pretty close to nabbing a squirrel a couple of times. Since I got sick during class I'd forgotten about him. But why do that? I have to hope it was a dare or part of initiation or something. Not purely just because it sounded fun. But it was funny, I'll give him that one. The joys of campus...
I don't know if I've mentioned but several of my friends are getting married soon. It just seems so strange to me to think of them married to anyone. It's a marrying season apparently, though, so can't blame them. Not to be elitist but I'm glad I'm not to that point in my life yet. Someday I'll be happy to be there but right now, well... I like being able to take risks and make my own choices without the life and happiness of someone else having to be fully considered. Also planning a wedding seems like a pain in the butt. Can't ya get someone who likes that kind of thing to plan one for you? My grandmum would be horrified to hear me say that so flippantly, I'm sure of it. (You know, of course, that it's my fault she isn't a great-grandmum yet like her sister. Crikey.) Though I say that now, I'm sure I'll be a tyrant bride-to-be when it comes to the planning so God help my family and the poor fellow who is the groom-to-be (though in dreams I just arrive at my wedding without even knowing it's supposed to be that day, so who knows??).
Oooo there's been some turmoil in this little house... Things have been disappearing... Julia's special birthday cups, my green towel, Julia's beige towel, the dvd player, the case to one of Julia's DVD's (just the case, not the DVD). Other things have appeared; towels we've never seen before in our bathroom, an orphan razor in our shower, gloves that belong to noone, various change left on the kitchen counter, laundry that seems to now live in the laundry room, etc. My towel returned as did Julia's case but most of the missing things are still missing. I've heard a rumor that the DVD player is in Elise's room but it's been there for about a week now if that's the case. I don't know... I'd love to engage in some gossipy bashing but that's mean in such a closed forum. Just take it from me that it's annoying and inconsiderate... grrness.
Happy Wednesday!!!!!