03 February 2011

Another year...

"Tick tick tick tick on the watch, And life's too short for me to stop, Oh baby, your time is running out, I won't let you turn around And tell me now I'm much too proud All you do is fill me up with doubt... This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof... this time, baby, I'll be bulletproof..."

I've had La Roux's Bulletproof stuck in my head for about a week now. So terribly, ironically fitting. Or something like that. What a way to start a post after so long...

Busy lately working a bunch. Still floating from store to store as needed for the big chain for which I work. And much of the time it's good. Some days truly suck but I figure that's part of life and every job has downsides. Getting to help people still outweighs the bad. And this job is enabling me to pay off my student loans, which is very high on my list of priorities right now. In fact, I noticed today (as I was paying bills, yuck) that I've paid off a little more than a third of my loans! I've only officially been out of school since June and made intern pay for June & July so it's really been about 6 months of "real" pay that went into that chunk of debt falling off. If all goes well and no new bills pop up then I might get out from under loans by this time next year. How cool would that be?!?

Something else has been dropping off lately... Since I took my NAPLEX back in July I've unintentionally lost about 15 pounds. I'm back to the weight I was when I turned 16 & got my driver's license! (Though I did gain about 5 pounds between graduation and NAPLEX from all of the study eating I did to prep for that booger of an exam.) Still fitting into all my clothes ok but now having to wear a belt more to keep from flashing everyone. I'm still eating and certainly not going without but I guess working all day on my feet and not really ever having the chance to snack resets me back to where I maybe should have been all along? I wish I could say I've been exercising but I haven't. My work schedule is still so fluid that I don't feel like there's a set time of day I could work out routinely. Excuses, excuses, I know. There are just several variables in my life right now that I have no control over that lend toward making me more apathetic about my overall health. Hopefully, soon, I'll see the light and feel inspired to be more healthy. Until then I'll stick to working hard, eating reasonably balanced meals, and drinking more water. Yeah.

Going through a rough patch attitude-wise. Not willing to share the cause here but suffice to say I've mostly been praying for understanding and acceptance. Can never have too much acceptance, the way I see it. Especially for things that I have little control over. (For graduation a dear family friend got me a piece of wall art that reads, "Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God." A wonderful ideal...) So, beyond praying I turn to sewing, cooking, cleaning, and crafting in general to keep my mind occupied. If my darling family doesn't get sick of me re-organizing every inch of the house and making a cosy for everything I might get back to okay soon. We shall see.
Until then, stay warm and be good to yourself & everyone else.


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