13 December 2004

Finals week will begin soon...

Happy Early Birthday to my favorite Dork!!!! (He’s turning 16 Tuesday!!!) Yea!!!!
Since we had Dork’s birthday party this weekend, I went home for a while. Enjoyed my time at home with parentals and bro. So glad to be going home for longer soon for Christmas break. It’s going to rock!!!
On a side, but relevant, note: At Dork’s party Sunday afternoon… I made the cake and icing from scratch… yummy chocolate on chocolate!!! Rocked so much that there was hardly any left when everyone finally went home. ~Most of the time they were all there I felt torn. I wanted to be there, belonged there, and should be there but also just wanted to leave and be by myself or with just my immediate family. I love them all so much so why do I feel like this? It’s new to me to be like this; I felt almost trapped. And they weren’t doing anything to make me feel that, I just did, ya know? I’m confused by this and wish I could figure it out. I love them. I want and need to be around them. So why the dread and craving for running far, far away? I sure pray that they didn’t catch on. Hopefully I’m a good enough actress to believably pretend to be having fun or maybe just be a little tired, because you know she’s been studying and working so much… Whatever works, I suppose. The tired part is pretty true...
As for the confusing feeling earlier last week, Dad says I’m just very empathetic and mirror the emotions of those around me. I’m not sure if that’s it. No one around me was acting especially sad or weird. Julia and Sharice seemed to act normal enough, for them anyway. I don’t know but it’s as good as any of the ideas I came up with on my own.
New band you should hear about… Radial Angel is a local band. Pretty darn good in my humble opinion. My favorite of theirs is Not Beautiful…
Still need to finish a ton of Christmas shopping. Only person I have finished is Grandmum. Sad, huh? Been concentrating so hard on other things (if you’re Mum then Finals, if anyone else then having fun… lol) that just have had to put it off. That and I’m not much of a shopper. By that I mean I don’t just adore it and go shopping every freaking chance I get. I prefer to have a plan when I shop, like know almost exactly what I’m getting everyone and spend as little time in stores as possible. I know, I should be kicked out of the Girls Club but it’s true. I’ve been an Anti-Shoppers Anonymous member since birth. Oh well.
Ya’ll have a great week and many laughs. Terribly sorry this isn’t as chipper and lovely as it would ideally be. I suck, enough said. Love to ya!

Camouflage is a game we all like to play, but our secrets are as surely revealed by what we want to seem to be as by what we want to conceal. -Russell Lynes


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