True Friend Promises...

Are you tired of those sissy poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship!

1. When you are sad ... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry arse bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue ... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile ... I'll know you finally got some.
4. When you are scared ... I will rag you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried ... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused ... I will use little words to explain things to you.
7. When you are sick ... stay away from me until you're well again.
8. When you fall .... I will point and laugh at your clumsy arse then help you up again.

Remember: A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.
You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better...