16 September 2004

My head is full of variables

This is such a weird-feeling day for me. It's beautiful outside and the temperature is nice. But my head is jumbled-up: full of thoughts, reminders, and lists. So many things to get done, people to talk to or visit, books to read/study, classes to prepare for, everyday things that need attention. Where do I fit-in in all this? Goodness, as if I have a clue. I was hoping you knew. Maybe everyone else knows from that class I missed, I think it was the week I had chicken-pox in Kindergarten, wasn't it? Whatever the case, don't you think I should be told? Please, please, please? Don't hold out on me now.
(work went alright yesterday. Nothing spectacular or mildly interesting happened. Went to sleep almost ASAP when I got back here. Today was just classes. Anthro was a long film, made me sad as most films in that class seem to do. Myth was another ton of notes, this time about Athena, Aphrodite, Eros, and Psyche. The story about Psyche is among my all-time favorites btw.)
I just don't know. The world is just of such a dualistic nature. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Yin and yan. Dark and light. Past and Future. Comedy and tragedy. It just never ends. And none of it is truly black or white. Grey is the new black (That was for you Dad.) just as grey is the new white. Not that the other colors aren't around but they get pushed aside in this discussion. No one person is allowed to be just one person. We all have to be everything to everyone or else we're behind the times and failing. It's a Red Queen kind of world; keep running as fast as you can just to keep up with the world turning... you certainly don't want to end up on your butt at the back of the line/on the bottom of the world. I just hate it sometimes that no matter what you can't stop. Stopping equals dying, which really isn't all that bad an idea when the alternative is considered. (Not that I promote suicide, just making a point) Ignorance is oppressive even to a society founded on education and steeped in books filled with philosophy. Ignorance isn't a good excuse but sometimes it's the only one that is nearly valid. Why else is there such poverty and destruction in the world save for a lack of knowledge among those who have the power to change things, make the world into something, unless it be greed or malice? I don't have any answers. I can't even comprehend all the questions. It just hurts to not know sometimes.

"Quid me nutrit me destruit" (What nourishes me also destroys me)


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