I don't get it...

Things I don't understand. This is going to be a long, never-completed list. Just because. That is the type of mood I am in. Dazed and Confused. Thus...
Things I don't understand:

• Why it's okay for guys to call me names like 'baby', 'doll', 'babe', 'hon', and 'sweetheart' when they hardly know me and probably just can't remember my name.
• Where our spoon went. The best cooking spoon is gone. We don't know where or why. We've looked everywhere. If you or someone you know has information concerning its present whereabouts please contact me. Us. Someone. Please?
• Why I always misspell my own name when I type it. Nothing doing but I end up with mistry. Every time. I might as well change my name.
• How the squirrels on campus can be so cute yet so evil. It's mind-boggling.
• Why people feel the need to walk in huge groups that take up entire sidewalks on campus. Did none of you learn the importance of traveling in a line? En masse is so passe. (Incidentally, pass, i.e. by them, is what I would have liked to do but could not.)
• Why my bike won't stay fixed.
• Why our door picks and chooses when to open and specifically whom it will open for.
• Why my toothbrush has a pink handle. I thought it was light blue?
• Why anyone would make candy that does not contain chocolate.
• Why one of my roommates doesn't like chocolate cake but decrees that chocolate icing is just fine.
• Why the Lloyd Noble buses like to travel in packs in the middle of the afternoon. You sit and wait for about 15 minutes then suddenly there are 2 or 3 ready and willing to take you to your vehicle. Spacing out makes them lonely.
• What boys are thinking when they make sexist remarks about other girls while they're talking to me. Do they not realize that I too am female and saying that, "oh, chicks just aren't good at math/science/driving/thinking etc" just might not be very flattering to your listener?
• Why our doormat is always dirty. I've picked it up and dumped off all the garden mulch stuff and it is just as dirty the next time I walk out the door.
• Why our apartment complex management has decided to put up stop signs in the STUPIDEST places.
• Why my work makes employees pay to park in the garage there.
• Why the boys upstairs keep falling down and laughing. Really, it's not that funny after the nine hundredth time is it?
• How we go through a pitcher of Kool aide so quickly. It's insane.
• How Carl can sneak up on me and scare the bejeese outta me. He's freakin' huge and unmissable. How does this happen?
• How I can go a couple of weeks without talking to Dawn and still know what's going on.
• How no matter what time I call Dork on his phone he never answers but every time I call the house looking for Mum or Dad he picks it up. Like he lives there or something.
• How my hair never considers what I want it to do. It just picks and sticks with that choice. I have to live with it because there is no changing the way it is once it has decided.
• Why my phone hates me. It laughs to see me stand on my dresser or go all the way outside just so I can talk. Evil bugger.
• How one week can seem like an entire month.
• How I'm always ahead in lab until the very end then end up being the last to leave.
• Where my ambition went.
• Why when you go to sell back text books they always give you like 5% back of what you paid for the darn thing originally. Not like I got THAT much use out of it.
• Why does your leg/arm/hand "go to sleep"? I don't understand mechanistically how that works... And I would like to...
• How I can be so clumsy after 7 years of gymnastics, >4 years of dance training, and absolutely no alcoholic beverages.
• How toenail polish can last so long and still look pretty good. I'm not complaining, just wondering.
• Who decided to size bras with letter sizes. Wouldn't actual numbers be a better idea?
• Who named enzymes. Couldn't they think of more creative names or at least ones that make some semblance of reason?

That's all for now. I'm tired. Until next time, Bailiff, I'll be in my chambers.

"Women have the feeling that since they didn't make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them." -Diane Johnson